Why do only some people get ‘skin orgasms’ from listening to music? This article poses, then answers this question with a brief introduction to the idea of “frisson,” or “aesthetic chills.” Upon reading this article, I felt the same way I felt when, a few months ago, I discovered (and immediately deep-dived into) the concept of aphantasia, defined as a lack of visual imagination or “mind’s eye.” These two terms normalized me in a sense. My way of perceiving the world was unique, but not unprecedented. What a joyous realization! Truly!
After reading through several articles about aphantasia, I felt equipped to discuss it with almost everyone I knew. I brought up the topic by referring to an image I’d seen going around on social media a few times.
“What happens in your mind when you picture an apple?” I asked people, excitedly. Then, following my own curiosity, I wondered further: “What happens when you dream or remember? Can you visualize someone’s face when you think of them?”
Personally, I can ‘think’ of people’s appearances but cannot see them unless they are physically in front of me. When I dream or read or write or remember, no image is conjured up. Only a series of thoughts. I am able to conjure up auditory sensations, however. When a song is in my head, I hear it. When I read, a voice narrates. But there is never a visual accompaniment.
Most recently, I confronted this question in relation to my poetry when I read Mary Ruefle’s intriguing essay “On Imagination.” In it, she says this:
Anything involving an image in the head is an act of imagination. We think in both images and words, and since words are imaginary enactments (the word “tree” is not a tree), thinking and imagining are one.
I grew up believing that I had a wonderful imagination. At the same time, though, I always thought that directions like “close your eyes and imagine” or “picture this” were metaphorical. No one can really see pictures in their minds, in that endless blackness full of sound.
What kind of a poet am I, then, thinking solely in words and sounds without image? Have I ever imagined anything at all?
This brings me to what I do feel when I read something especially thrilling or poignant. I don’t see a scene in my head, but an energy passes through me and I shiver or twitch.
In a video I recorded once of myself reading a Richard Siken poem aloud, I read the final lines and my shoulders jolted as if by sudden electric shock. I watched the video back, both intrigued and embarrassed to see this action caught on camera.
In fact, I’m so embarrassed by it that I have no intentions of ever attending a concert and exposing myself to the possibility of these involuntary movements being invoked by live music. I remember concentrating hard on stillness when I sat in the audience of my college’s weekly open mics, trying not to have any physical reaction to the more impressive performances.
Most frequently, the jolt (or “twitch,” as I’ve called it) does occur when I listen to music. The building crescendo of Radiohead’s “Exit Music (For a Film)” sends a spike of energy through me. Same with the layered harmonies of Queen’s “Somebody To Love,” the driving bassline of The Strokes’ “Heart In a Cage,” and the falsetto vocals throughout Childish Gambino’s “Baby Boy,” to name a few.
The article I linked earlier has this to say about the phenomenon:
Listening to emotionally moving music is the most common trigger of frisson, but some feel it while looking at beautiful artwork, watching a particularly moving scene in a movie or having physical contact with another person.
Anyhow, now that I’ve learned the word “frisson,” I can’t help but wonder if it’s the supplement to my aphantasia. I can’t see in my mind’s eye, but I can feel creativity and appreciation for art move through my whole body; a sensation I described in my last White Noise dispatch.
I could go on and on, but I won’t. Not yet. Watch this space, though. I feel motivated to write here again. In the meantime, I’ll be over here. Also, I’ve had some writing published right here (read by my favorite poet!!).
Much more to come! & that’s a promise. Godspeed, everyone, be well.